JCAThJewish Betrothal Customs

To truly appreciate what it must have meant to Jesus' disciples when He taught them about His Kingdom using marriage metaphors, or to Paul's readers when he described Christ as the husband of the Church, we need to discover what marriage and courtship were like in First Century Israel. When we compare what we discover to the calling out of the Church by the Lord Jesus, we find an amazing parallel, in which virtually every aspect of the ancient Jewish tradition is fulfilled.

Why is this important? Apart from the general insight that such a study gives us into Scripture and into our relationship with the Lord, we see that our God is a God who pays meticulous attention to detail, who fulfills according to what He has established, who was willing to pay an inconceivably high price to secure a Bride for His Son, and who will not fail to send His Son back to reclaim His Beloved

OT and NT Bridal language

Genesis begins with marriage, ends in Rev with marriage

Gen 2:7-9: 15-24 HELPER…helpmeet, succor (breasts,..SoS) and milk/honey under tongue

It is not good for man to be alone: Adam slept (type of Christ, who was dead/buried, Bride made

But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him. NKJV

NLT…’suitable’

WE COMPLETE JESUS!

GOD HAS A NEED!

GOD is love, LOVE must have a recipient to pour its love out on..

Trinity was satisfied in itself except for one thing..no one to pour love out

Imagine a vessel full of overflowing water; pours His love into us and we pour it into each other, 1^st and 2^nd greatest commandments

God creates Adam, puts him in garden, especially designed for Him

Romans 5:14 Netherless death reigned from Adam to Moses………who was type of HIM who was to come

Why did God wait to create Eve???

Adam is a picture of Jesus: ADAM HAD TO WAIT FOR HIS BRIDE; SO JESUS HAS TO WAIT FOR HIS BRIDE

Gardens are made for Kings today….a garden exemplifies Kings wealth, displayed their most beautiful plants. Kings gardens are PRIVATE, not anyone can come in (SoS chapt 4)

God displayed Adam in His garden in Genesis. Jesus was perfectly satisfied in heaven, expcept Jesus needed someone to pour Himself into. Adam noticed all the animals had a partner, except him. He realized he was alone, he had an ache in his heart (Just like Jesus)

Adam (man) was made in Gods image, meaning that ACHE in his heart, that lonliness for a partner, was the same as Gods’ ache for fellowship, for Jesus’s ache for a bride. IT is not GOOD for me to be alone (Good in Hebrew?)

Look up aching in SoS…Kings aching..???

Adams highest calling was to be a lover of God and lover of man. A vessel of longing.

God causes deep sleep to fall on Adam (like Christ) Ephesians 5:14 …sleep is synom of death. Just as God pulled rib out of side of Adam, they thrust a spear into side of Christ (rib) thru death of Jesus we find life. Blood/water gushed out of side of Christ…just like in birth of a baby. ASK, what flowed out of Jesus when spear was thrust into his side? Where in natural process do we see blood/water?

Ephesians 1:4…He chose us in HIM…We were in Christ before the foundation of world..in His heart, we were brought forth from HIS heart!!!!

just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love,

Psalm 139:16

THE FIRST WEDDING..WOHOO! Genesis 2:And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

GOD BRINGS HIS BRIDE TO HIS SON…No man comes to Me unless the Father draws him No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him; and I will raise him up at the last day JOHN 6:44

WHEW…discuss this

Rev 19…our wedding day

Genesis 24 Issac/Rebekah

Issac :son of laughter

Rebekah : snared by beauty

SoS 6:4-5 (turn your eyes away from me..)

Isaiah 61:3…Bride of Christ, ministry of Jesus on earth, garland of beauty, means bridal headpiece..a crown

62..fashions people into crown, bridal headpiece (look of word)

Lamentations, bride of Christ has

Hosea..bridal language

Jeremiah 31:31 new covenant, with house of Israel and Judah, not like previous ones

HE was husband

Romans 11:17

John 3:28-29 friend of bridegroom

Mark 2:19-20 Jesus identifies Himself as bridegroom

Matthew 22 There is a father who is preparing wedding feast..

Matthew 25:1…His return, 10 virgins

Ephesians 5 :25-32 powerful passage

THE MATCH: Shiddukhin

Initiated by the father of the groom;Christ acted at the initiative of the Father, John 5:30

The Bridegroom's Father chooses the Bride, the Groom in most cases does not. He sends a friend or a trusted servant to come to terms with the parents of the prospective Bride, and makes all the arrangements. The Bride may not have any idea of what this person looks like or even know his age. All she knows is she will spend her whole life with him if she says yes to this marriage

Agent may be used (Story of Issac/Rebekah, the servant)Holy Spirit acts as agent of

Father in the world today, 1 Cor. 2:10; Gal. 4:6. ;Christ chose His disciples, John 15:16

Consent of the bride We respond to Christ's love and accept Him, 1 Pet. 1:8

…………………………………….11/16… Ephesians 5 :25-32 powerful passage  It’s Christ’s good pleasure to nourish,wash, and present us faultless before the Father on the wedding day!

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God the Father has sent the Holy Spirit as a servant (as in servant of Abraham, Genesis, to seek out a Bride for His Son. GENESIS 24 (have them have this passage ready) Verse 24, He gave her gifts (gold, compare to Song of Solomon chapter 1:10-11 Your cheeks are lovely with ornaments, Your neck with chains of gold.)

THE BETROTHAL: (Eyrusin, a period of sanctification or setting apart) Ephesians 5 :25-32 powerful passage  It’s Christ’s good pleasure to nourish,wash, and present us faultless before the Father on

Betrothal was legally  binding..just like marriage without consummation of marriage

Father would chose the bride, he would go get his son and say, Ive found her, lets go get her. (Genesis 24) John 15:15..Jesus left His eternal home..You did not chose me but I chose you. Ephesians 1:4, chose us before foundation of world.The bridegroom would travel from his home to the home of the bride in order to negotiate with his prospective father-in-law, the purchase price of his bride.  The Father, bridegroom, bride and her family would sit down at a table, and offer a contract of marriage. They discuss the bridal price. This is called the MOHAR. . It was required by law, legally binding, and  paid by the bridegroom. It HAD to be paid before the wedding could take place.

money which in purchases is given as a pledge or down payment that the  full amount will subsequently be paid

Often there would be negotiations. The young man understood he had to sacrifice in order to be able to purchase his bride. He knew that the price had to be high, for that reflected how much he really wanted the young woman! Reflected the value he had of her.  Often if might be Lands, livestock, silver or gold. The young man prepared a Ketubah, or marriage contract (or covenant) which he presented to the intended bride and her father.   Included in this was the " Bride Price ", which was appropriate in that society to compensate the young woman's parents for the cost of raising her, as well as being an expression of his love for her. In the Ketubah the Bride is promised that she will be provided and cared for in every way. It states that all of her needs will be fulfill by the Bridegroom. The Hebrew term for Bridegroom is "Hatan" meaning: "one who enters Covenant." This contract is always signed before two witnesses, then given to the Bride and her Father. The Holy Scriptures are our Wedding document. It tells us all that our Bridegroom has done for us and will do for us - and so much more! 

What are some of the terms/conditions in the Ketubah, the things that our heavenly bridegroom has promised us (our needs?) Ask for verses Matthew 6:28-30; Phil. 4:19

What was Christs price?? I Corin 6:20;  I Peter 1:18 This price, refered to as the "mohar", had to be paid prior to any other events relating to the marriage.  Can you imagine the discussion in heaven, with the Trinity, discussing the price Jesus would have to pay to gain His bride??? Can u imagine the Father telling Jesus, now, Son, I really you to make the Bride know how valuable she is to you!

Romans 8:3,4; John 3:1. It was a high cost. The bridegroom would have to sacrifice dearly if he really valued the bride to be.

2 Corinthians 1:22

 2 Corinthians 1:22 Who hath also sealed us, and given the pledge, seal of the Spirit in our hearts. READ IN DIFFERENT VERSIONS

Pledge, down-payment, or ‘earnest’ money, deposit money which in purchases is given as a pledge or down payment that the  full amount will subsequently be paid

GENESIS 24…Jacob/Laban, price for Rachel

To see if the proposal was accepted, the young man would pour a cup of wine for his beloved and wait to see if she drank it.   This cup represents a blood covenant. If she drank the cup she would have accepted the proposal and they would be betrothed. The young man would then give gifts to his beloved, and then take his leave. 

. WHAT DOES THIS REMIND U OF???

When Jesus lifted up the cup of wine in the last supper, and said this is the NEW COVENANT IN MY BLOOD, the disciples knew EXACTLY what He was talking about!! MARRIAGE CONTRACT!

Matthew 26:27-29

"And Yeshua took the cup in His right hand, lifted it, blessed it, and gave it to His followers, saying, 'Drink ye all of it; For this is My Blood of the New Covenant, which is shed for many for the forgiveness of sins. But I say unto you, I will not drink henceforth of this fruit of the vine, until that Day when I drink it new with you in my Father's Kingdom.'"

The betrothed secured, i.e. sealed. Gifts are now given to the Bride and her family from the Bridegroom or His Servant, as in the case of Abraham sending his servant Eliezer. Eliezer came with 10 camels filled with gifts to secure a Bride for Isaac. Eliezer means: comforter, helper, and is a picture of the Holy Spirit of G-d.

Every time we share in the cup of Communion we are re-affirming our marriage Covenant with our Bridegroom Yeshua. We should always remember what it was that Messiah Yeshua our Bridegroom achieved for us personally, with the Covenant of "Communion in His Blood." His wine is the best wine, and it is wine, not grape juice! Wine is a symbol of joy to the Hebrew mind, and it should be to His Church as well. 

Jeremiah 31:31-34

"The time is coming," declares the L-RD, "when I will cut a New Covenant (Brit) with the house of Israel and with the house of Judah. It will not be like the Covenant I made with their forefathers (those who died in Mt. Sinai) when I took them by the hand to lead them out of Egypt, because they broke My Covenant, though I was a Husband to them, declares the L-RD. This is the Covenant I will cut with the house of Israel after that time," declares the L-RD. "I will put My Torah in their minds and write it on their hearts. I will be their G-d, and they will be My people. (This is the Promise from Deut 30:6) No longer will a man instruct his neighbor, or a mankind his brother or sister, saying, ‘Know the L-RD,’ they will all know me, from the least of them to the greatest, declares the L-RD. For I will forgive their iniquity and will recall their sins no more."  

TAKE COMMUNION TOGETHER: Let people experience this as a betrothal ceremony. Take time. Let them hear Jesus asking for their hand in marriage J

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ASK IF ANYONE HAS TESTIMONY FROM LAST TIME RE DRINKING BETHROTAL CUP OF LORD

After the bride drinks the cup of bethrothal, the Father of Bridegroom picks up bethrothal cup and hands it to the prospective bridegroom/son and says, ‘son will you drink this cup’?

WHERE DO WE SEE THIS IN SCRIPTURE?We see this in garden of gethsaname J “Father if it be possible let this cup PASS from me, but not MY WILL but your will be done!”Matt. 26:39And he went a little further, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou [wilt].

On the cross as He was dying He said to the Father ‘into your hands I commit my spirit’ He had fulfilled the MOHAR, the bridal price. It is FINISHED.

THEN as token of bethrothal the bridegroom gives gifts, MATAN to the bride to be. Matan means ‘pledge’ in Hebrew. In Greek it means ‘charismata’.

EPHESIANS !:13-14: In Him you also trusted, after you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation; Which is the earnest(deposit, guarantee) of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, unto the praise of his glory.

Discuss what it means to be sealed J SOS applications.

These charismata gifts mean it’s a GUARENTEE that He is coming back for His bride!!! WHEW!! Doesn’t it make you WANT to be faithful in the spiritual gifts hes given you! And they are a mark that YOU, His bethrothed, are a JOINT HEIR with Him, will be His beloved bride for all eternity! WOHOOOOOOO

Jewish people say that Pentecost was Gods matan for Israel!

…………………………………..Dec 7………………………………………………………

Once the marriage covenant had been established, the groom would leave the home of his bride and return to his father's house.  He would remain separated from his bride for an indefinite period of time usually not to exceed twelve months.  During this time both the groom and the bride had specific preparations which had to be accomplished prior to the wedding ceremony.

The groom was required to prepare living accomodations for him and his new bride.This customarily involved building an addition to his father's house large enough for the two of them to live in.  The strong family ties inherent in the Jewish culture of Christ's day normally precluded the building of a separate house away from the family.  The groom's preparations would include not only the structure, but also everything needed to set up a household.  He would provide all that he could afford in order to offer his bride the most comfort and pleasant living accommodations possible. Matthew 24:7..only the Father knows when Jesus will be released to go snatch His bride, why, because the FATHER is the one hat had to inspect living quarters, bridal chamber and to give his stamp of approval on it.

What is our living quarters, our bridal chamber  like in heaven? Our room, our mansion?

Clues in SoS: 1:4; SS 2:14; Ps 45; Revelation 21:2

The bride, in anticipation of her married life, would busy herself with her trousseau and personal arrangements.  Traditionally, during this separation, her mother would teach her all things necessary to fulfill her marital responsibilities. It was a time spent in close fellowship as both recognized their new roles.

Just as the Jewish groom left the home of his bride and returned to his father's house, so Yeshua left the earth, the home of the church (bride) and returned to His Father's house in heaven after He'd established the new covenant and risen from the dead. The church is currently living in this this period of separation awaiting Christ's return. 

John the Baptist said: Mark 2:18-19…fasting when bridegroom has gone away

 During this period the bride-elect lived with her friends, and all communication between herself and her future husband was carried on through the means of a friend delegated for the purpose, termed the "friend of the bridegroom" (John 3:29). The friend of bridegroom would relay all messages between couple. Discuss Holy Spirits role in this (He will disclose ALL what I say…)

The bride also goes thru sanctification period, Called KIDDUSHIN (this word means sanctification)  

and preparing her wedding dress

The GROOM WOULD PROVIDE THE WEDDING DRESS FOR THE BRIDE TO BE: SHE WOULD ADORN IT!

Linen dress, (who wore linen dress? Priests J) Revelation 19:7-8 A Let us be glad and rejoice, and give honour to him: for the marriage of the Lamb is come, and his wife hath made herself ready.And to her it was granted to be arrayed in fine linen, clean and bright, for the fine linen is the righteous acts (NKJ) of the saints.

During this time the bride NEVER KNEW when her bridegroom might come for her (often at midnight, he came and snatched her away!) so she had to wear her wedding dress, day/nite! Because it would greatly insult the groom if she wasn’t ready!

In parable of wedding guest Matthew 22 it was an UTMOST insult to not have a wedding garment on for the wedding feast!

DISCUSS…what are our garments???

What are our adornments on our wedding dress??

Isaiah 61…adorns herself with jewels, wedding dresses (Jewels covered (tabrets)dancing garments! Lucifer, before he fell, was covered with every precious stone. Relate this to the New Jersulam being adorned as bride for her wedding!) garments of praise..?

Psalm 33:1 praise from the upright is beautiful

Isaiah 61:3….garment of praise..etc

Notice the bridegroom also has ornaments J compare to SOS verses

ing dress, adorning it! DISCUSS THIS

OUR BETHROTHAL/SANCTIFICATION TIME\ KIDDUSHIN (means sanctification)

During this time both bride and groom go thru MIKVAH (baptism..Jesus, our bridegroom did it by being baptized!)

Ephesias 5;26 -27(read in different versions)….He washes/santifies us thru His WORD!

Ask, how many of you have been condemned by this idea of white/spotless bride??

***How much do we want to be sanctified?

To santify in Greek is HAGIAZO means to consecrate, set apart, to cleanse both externally and INTERNALLY! To purify from GUILT (of sin) and renewing of the mind!

To cleanse in Greek is katarizo which is a veryyyy thorough cleansing, comes from root word which means to purify by fire, to prune (for purpose of bearing fruit) means to cleanse from physical stains, to CURE (health) to remove from guilt/sin, to pronounce CLEAN in a Levitcal sense (which even meant NO DISEASE!!) had to be realllllllly clean  in Levitical terms!

Wash in Greek is LOUTRON, which means BATHE comes from root word which means to cleanse a DEAD person, to cleanse their wounds.

LOL How many of you bathe every day? What happens if you don’t bathe? How does this affect your body, others around you?

Bathing/washing implies flowing water(s) talk about Psalm 29:3..His voice being like many waters..Isaiah 55, ho everyone who thirsts come to the waters.. ASK FOR OTHERS

We go thru a natural baptism, but each time we go thru season(s) of dying we are being baptized, washed/sanctified in His death, and our wedding dress gets whiter and whiter!

Seasons of death always mean resurrection, spring, life seasons are just around the corner!!! Because the death seasons, dying to self, etc, being under the water, baptized, into His death mean we are being immersed, being sanctified, our wedding garments getting whiter and whiter.

During this time the bride NEVER KNEW when her bridegroom might come for her (often at midnight, he came and snatched her away!) so she had to wear her wedding dress, day/nite! Because it would greatly insult the groom if she wasn’t ready!

In parable of wedding guest Matthew 22 it was an UTMOST insult to not have a wedding garment on for the wedding feast!

I Cor. 1:2

I Cor 6:11

Also, the bride never knew when the wedding ceremony would take place! She had to be clothed ready. While adorning her wedding dress, she had to prepare her oil lamp, gather PLENTY of oil! For often at midnight, when she was sleeping, the bridegroom would send his friend (friend of the bridegroom) out thru the city saying BEHOLD THE BRIDEGROOM COMETH! (often before this happened the bridegroom would send a gift of gold to his bride, meaning his return was very near (golddust?)

She would then have to rise QUICKLY and trim her lamp. If she didn’t have enough oil she would not be able to follow him thru the city, with rest of bridal procession, and would know where he was going.

WHAT DOES THIS OIL REPRESENT? Parable of 10 virgins Matthew 25

Oil of joy for mourning (Isaiah 61:3) Jesus, anointed with oil of JOY above His companions (Ps 45:7;Heb 1:9) Oil/treasure in dwelling of the righteous (Proverbs 21:20)

Why couldn’t the wise virgins just give the foolish virgins some of their oil??

Endtimes, love of many will grow cold, hearts fainting from fear

Joy keeps our anointing fire burning bright!

Do not harm the oil and the wine (Revelation 6;6) New wine (joy also) nothing can harm us if we are fullll of joy and new wine!

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